We started a support group on Facebook for families who are going through similar situations. It is called Families Impacted by War Related Infertility. We started the page that way we could all share what we know and experience to make it a little easier on others! This page is just for families in this situation, so they can feel safe to share their stories.
Recently, the VA called and wanted to set up a consult to discuss infertility. We got the call the same day Kevin met with a Congressman, strange. We have no idea what it is really about. The law states that the VA does not pay for IVF, so we are not too optimistic with the VA covering it. It may just be they want to look at his hormone levels. We already know they are very low, not sure how he has functioned this long like this but who knows… We will of course, update people once we know more about the VA’s appointment.
Tomorrow we have a consult with Shady Grove. They are supposed to be one of the best in the country. I cannot wait to hear what they have to say. It feels strange to be excited about having an appointment with an RE doctor. But, it means we are going somewhere, we have options, we have hope, we have a chance. That is pretty exciting! At the same time I am nervous, hormone levels are not where they need to be. His levels were drastically low the last time we went to the doctor. The doctor felt that he should have already been feeling bad, but he wasn’t. Now, several months later, we are facing it or so it seems. The medicine they give men for hormones kills off sperm. Typically it will come back after the medicine is stopped, but what if it doesn’t? Then what? I am terrified that our clock is ticking to have our own children.
I research this topic constantly; it is almost like my second job at this point. It is so important to me, having a family with Kevin means everything. I feel like the more educated I am about this process, the higher our chances will be to finding the right path for us. As a society, we are quiet and secretive about these issues. I do not have a problem talking about these personal issues to the world; I can be someone else’s voice if they need me to. These men and women fighting for our country; they should never wonder how they will be able to achieve their dreams of having a family. We are still being told that since Kevin is retired, IVF treatments will not be covered no matter the reason. I’ve found opportunities to discuss this issue with others in similar situations; I think together we can get this changed.
I just cannot wait to have answers to all the thousands of questions in my head! I’m glad that we started this journey before we got married because we will have a solid plan by August when we are ready to start our family. We are SO ready for this (so are our families!).
If you know anyone in the same or similar situation, please have them like the Facebook page! Getting the word out will definitely help! It also just helps to have support. I haven’t started fertility treatments, I haven’t had my heart-broken after treatment, I do not know what it is like yet, nor will I pretend to. I do know what it is like to sit in a waiting room, feeling like I am literally going to die while waiting for test results, I do know what it is like to be terrified that you will not get our family easily, I do know what it is like to worry and cry over your future family and wonder if it will in fact exist one day. That is what I know so far in this journey. One day soon, I will know more and I know the support would help me. Sometimes, just having someone in the same situation to talk to is all a person needs. I hate for anyone to ever feel alone! Some people have already mentioned on the support page that they had no idea other people were going through similar things. It shouldn’t be that way; no one should ever have to feel alone, especially because they are not. This is a very personal and private issue for many, for me, it is the opportunity to bring people together and support others in similar situations.