Happy Birthday, Mom!

So I started this post on Mother’s Day and then life got a little out of control, but I still wanted to finished it. It worked out because my Mom’s birthday is today, so it is still for her!

I am very fortunate to have a loving mother who gave all her time and energy to us while we were growing up.  She wasn’t just there for my sister and I, she was there for our friends, our schools, and our communities.  She fights for people who cannot fight for themselves.  My Mom stayed home with my sister and I until my younger sister started high school.  She worked a couple side jobs from time to time but mostly devoted her time to the schools.  She was always the classroom parent for my sister and I.  I often forgot that she did not actually work at the school.  She was PTA president for our county and schools for many years. We were always going to PTA conferences all over Maryland.  I remember my sister and I being so excited about going to different hotels!  She made a difference in our schools at the time.  My Mom is my hero for that reason and so many more.

My Mom experienced a lot so far in her life, a lot of it was painful, but as she would say it was worth it because it got her to where she is now. She is one of 14 children!  Her Dad tragically died in a coal mining accident when my Mom was 3.  Her Mom died of throat cancer when she was 5. She has been told that when her Dad died, her Mom couldn’t keep up the fight.  My Mom went to live with her older brother and sister in-law. She grew up with out her parents and it wasn’t always pleasant.  She made the decision to make sure to never treat her children poorly and she never did. We never faced any angry fist or anything could of made us feel physical or emotional pain. She overcame everything that could have easily changed her path, and for that she is my hero.
I remember the first time I found out that Mom had been married before she married my Dad.  I just assumed it was always the two of them; that they always lived in this happy marriage bubble.  Then one day, I am not even sure how it came up, I found out she was married before.  At first I did not believe her.  Then it was undeniable because the name on her wedding invitation was not the same last name that I knew has her maiden name.  I remember being completely heart broken.  Not because she had been divorced, but because at some point in her life my Mom was not shown love.  At some point in her life she found herself with her husband’s hands around her throat and with a very tough decision to make.  At some point in her life she was sad, alone, and scared.  That was heartbreaking for me.  I know my Mom, she is the strongest lady and I found out that at some point that strength was put to the test. I had assumed my Mom found my Dad and lived happily ever after. I’ve only ever witnessed my Dad treat my Mom with the upmost love and care. I assumed she always had that and it made me happy knowing she had such a love, especially after her childhood.  Instead, she went through hell first.  That isn’t fair, why are the strongest people tested so much?  It wasn’t just that she was in an abusive marriage, she lost her parents, she was raised in a home where she was not exactly wanted, and so much more. She is an amazing person and she deserves nothing more than love and I am so glad she found it in my Dad.

The craziest part is probably about 30 years later, I found myself in a very similar situation.  I am not one to believe that we are destined to certain fates, but my Mom’s story helped save me. I literally could have saved my life.  Somehow she survived abuse and divorce.  Somehow I would too. My Mom found my Dad and she has been treated with love and care and has the family she always dreamed of (at least I think she likes us…haha!).  It gave me hope.  Hope that I would find that “one” too.  Another reason she is and always will be my hero! A few years later I found that “one”, who only ever treats me with love and care.  He treats me better than I deserve most times and I am very thankful for him!

My Mom is my hero, she is the one I turn to in tough times and celebrate with in great times.  I am so thankful to have her as my Mother and to have grown to have an unbreakable friendship.  Happy 40th anniversary of your 21st birthday! Here’s to many more years of everything that makes you happy!

My Mom and I many years ago!

My Mom and I many years ago!