Kevin and I have had a pretty stressful couple of weeks as we have been going through the IVF process. There has been laughter, tears, joy, pain, prayers hope and most importantly love. My body went from just a normal body to an egg making machine within just a couple of days. The hormones were pumping! We had appointments every morning for blood work and ultrasounds. It got to the point where my veins were refusing to give up anymore blood. After the appointment, Kevin would drop me off at work. We would proceed like life was somewhat normal. Household chores have been put the side, meals are nothing special as we just eat whatever there is, and the couch is our new best friend. I must say I am proud of myself though, I did not bite my husbands head off near as often as I thought I would. I am still taking hormones to try and get my body ready to be pregnant. I will continue to take them even when I am until my body is able to sustain a pregnancy on its own. From what I have been told, these hormones are harder to deal with. So please pray I treat Kevin the way he deserves, and not the way my body may be telling me (love you babe)!
On Monday, we had the egg retrieval. I was in more pain than I really was expecting. This has very much been a role reversal for Kevin and I. For a majority of our relationship, Kevin was at Walter Reed recovering for war injuries. The first time I was there for a surgery was surgery number 19. When he retired he ended with about 30 surgeries. I became used to hospital stays and helping him whenever he needed it. This time it was me that was needing the help; and he was right there. The pain I was feeling I am sure not comparable to what his body has been through over the past couple of years; but never did he tell me to get over it. I can see in his eyes that he wishes we didn’t have to go through this. I know he worries about me; and I know that man loves me with everything he has. What I am not sure he always remembers is, there is not one person in this world I would want to have children with than him. I want to look at our children and see his eyes and his smile. I hope and pray they have the ability to achieve anything they put their mind to like he does. I would go through any amount of pain, procedures, hormones, to make sure that happens. The world needs more people like him. I am incredibly blessed with the most loving and giving Husband. I hope our sons are just like him; and our daughters marry a man just like him.
Today I posted a picture that shows what an embryo looks like the day after retrieval; after it has been fertilized. In the middle of the embryo you can see two very faint circles. Each circle has the DNA of one parent. Someone commented on that picture and said, “That is what the miracle of love looks like.” These words have stuck with me throughout the day, and will probably linger for a lot longer. Two faint circles, that hold everything that we are, are combining to make one. When you get married you hear over and over, two hearts become one. I am not sure that an image could possible describe this more. Our children are already loved tremendously. Our hearts and souls have been pouring everything into making them a possibility. Love for each other and our future children keeps us going.
Kevin and I both overcame some pretty significant events in our lives before we were brought together. The timing was perfect and it led to most incredibly kind of love. No matter what happens in our future, Kevin and I are a family. We may not have a baby in our arms, but we are a family.