I have always found it hard to define myself. I’ve really struggled with self esteem too. I am my worst critic. I nit pick my hair, my weight, my clothes, my face, every decision I make. Since becoming a parent I have felt it’s gotten worse. Of course my body isn’t the same from pre-pregnancy. But deeper than that, I am not the same. I was working full-time as a teacher. Now my number one job is raising my daughter. It is a hard job to monitor how you’re doing. No one tells you you’re getting this thing right like they do in a regular job (although not often enough in teaching). So when you’re your own worst critic you constantly hear your failures in your head.
I’ve been working on trying to define myself. I figured if I could define the type of mom I am it would help me see my own progress and goals. There’s all types of moms out there. Some I’ve heard include, crunchy moms, helicopter moms, attachment parenting, fit moms, free range, and the list goes on and on. These titles are all over social media and blogs. So I have often reflected, where do I fit? The answer I keep coming up with is I do not fit in any category. I feed my family healthy food but I wouldn’t say I’m crunchy. I think movement is important but I’m certainly not a fit mom. I do somethings similar to attachment parenting styles. I do somethings similar to free range parenting and helicopter parenting too. I’m all over the place. When I look at the different titles, not a single one of them fits what is the most important to me. What is most important to me is raising happy healthy kids and having a happy marriage. At any cost, I will give all of my time and effort into ensuring I raise a happy, healthy, well adjusted child. I am also winging it. I’ve done my research but when it comes down to it I have a hell of a mom gut. I am learning to just trust myself. I live it day by day. I adjust as needed, I remain flexible when needed too. Some days I just survive and other days I have an epic mom day where everything gets done. So where is the hash tag for that? I guess it doesn’t sound good as a hash tag, it’s too long of a list. I think most moms want these things too. I just don’t fit any criteria, but maybe that is a good thing. Why follow just one way? Maybe moms should just spend more time trusting ourselves. We are pretty smart after all. I heard a quote once from Reese Witherspoon during her speech when she was named woman of the year by Glamour. The quote is this, “I dread reading scripts that have no women involved in their creation because inevitably I get to that part where the girl turns to the guy, and she says, “What do we do now?!” Do you know any woman in any crisis situation who has absolutely no idea what to do?” When I heard it I thought, wow how true is that. Women do know what to do in good and bad situations . We might not know what we want for dinner but we definitely know what to do in serious situations. We should give ourselves more credit for that. I often remember her words when I find myself doubting my decisions or ability to be a good parent. I may not fit in a category of parenting style, but I am doing okay. I may be winging it, but we are happy, my family feels loved. If that is all I accomplish in this life, that is enough.